GOSTAN VALLEY, AF – Earlier this week, Polly the Opium Poppy was crying sappy tears about how she couldn’t immigrate to America because the opium in her tears are a controlled substance. “I can’t help it that […]
ABBEVILLE, LA – Early Monday morning, 3rd grade math teacher Patrick McCooley loaded up his car with 71 watermelons. “I was writing a word problem for an upcoming test, so I had to buy these to double check my […]
BRUSSELS, BE – New research findings from Katholieke Universiteit Leuven suggest that Brussels Sprouts are still gross. The data also shows an inverse correlation between number of Brussels sprouts served for dinner and number of friends […]
OMAHA, NE – In an unexpected and unfortunate turn of events, the veterinarians from Greenwood Vet Clinic were confronted with a very ill patient at their annual BBQ. Lead Veterinarian Sally Canole commented, saying “right after I […]
CAMBRIDGE, MA – Researchers at Harvard University have concluded that the toy included in a McDonald’s Happy Meal is the most nutritionally dense part of the meal. Christopher Tracy, one of the study conductors, gives […]
CUPERTINO, CA – The controversial decision to remove everything useful on the 2016 Macbook Pro has continued with the 2017 update. Leaked documents by an Apple insider appear to show that the next Macbook will ditch […]
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