Waffle House Open During Nuclear War

"Waffle House at Night" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Gerry Dincher

NORTH CAROLINA – The 24-hour breakfast food chain Waffle House has decided not to close its doors during the latest nuclear war between Russia and the United States.

Nuclear war generally walks the line between yellow and red on the Waffle House Index, which means managers decide if they want to keep their stores open.

When asked about his controversial decision to keep his store open, restaurant manager Walter Howser said “we understand that the world is exploding around us, but what we here at the Waffle House family really care about is whether or not your mouth is exploding with the delicious flavor of our scrumptious waffles”.