BURLINGTON, VT – On a trip to check out The Maple Syrup Cookbook, Vermontian Mariah Bennington was struck with disbelief when she saw her Senator on the library computer, grazing over a list of the foolishly discarded treasures on the Craigslist free section.
Sanders commented, saying “I believe everyone has the right to free healthcare, free college, and a free dusty, musty organ that is in pretty good condition but could still use some TLC”.
Sanders was later spotted leading a protest against the library’s draconian late return fees.