GOSTAN VALLEY, AF – Earlier this week, Polly the Opium Poppy was crying sappy tears about how she couldn’t immigrate to America because the opium in her tears are a controlled substance.
“I just want to be treated like all the other flowers. Even my lazy-ass cousin Calvin the Cannabis Bud is being allowed in more and more states, and he’s a Schedule 1, I’m only a schedule 2. It’s not fair!” said Polly.
Polly continues, “I’m a flower just like he is, yet they won’t let me in. This is blatant flowerism at it’s worst #opiumlivesmatter”
“What’s more, they let humans in al the time, but humans produce DMT in their bodies which is a schedule 1 drug! There’s no difference between them and I, yet they ban me. I can’t believe there isn’t more outrage about this!”
“I can’t help it that my tears are filled with opium” Polly said with a somber demeanor right before a local Afghani did the deed of decapitation, making her the first #opiumlivesmatter martyr.