BRUSSELS, BE – New research findings from Katholieke Universiteit Leuven suggest that Brussels Sprouts are still fucking gross.
“Our hypothesis was that Brussels sprouts were nasty as fuck, and our research has corroborated that” says study leader Arno Van Caemelbeke. “We tested raw, boiled, and fried sprouts. The fried ones were the most kickass since we added a bunch of salt and oil and shit. The boiled ones were nasty as fuck, and the raw ones were nasty as fuck, giving the sprouts a 67% nasty as fuck rating which rounds up to 100%”.
In case you got lost in all that technical jargon, what this research basically means is why the fuck are you buying Brussels sprouts when you could be buying spring mix or iceberg lettuce or watercress? The data also suggests that every time you serve someone Brussels sprouts they will see you as less trustworthy.