CUPERTINO, CA – The controversial decision to remove everything useful on the 2016 Macbook Pro has continued with the 2017 update. Leaked documents by an Apple insider appear to show that the next Macbook will ditch all ports with the exception of a non-magnetic charging port and 1 credit card slot.
We reached out to Apple CEO Tim Cook on the rumors.
“The rumors are true, and we think customers are really excited about this. In the past, you used to have to enter in your credit card numbers by hand in order to pay us, but now it is a seamless, intuitive process. Just insert and go. We have always been focused on making your life easier, and this is no exception”
When asked why the design team had decided to ditch all the other inputs, including the headphone jack, Tim Cook responded
“Well you see, no one wants to deal with wires. They get in the way. This is why we are introducing Apple iDrives, the Bluetooth-powered line of backup drives that sync seamlessly with all your Apple devices. And at only $399 for 16GB, it is something that our customers will go nuts over. We are also introducing wireless USB-A 3.0 and USB-C dongles for only $299, so you can connect your existing hardware to our devices.”