Waffle House Open During Nuclear War

"Waffle House at Night" (CC BY-SA 2.0) by Gerry Dincher

NORTH CAROLINA – The 24-hour breakfast food chain Waffle House has decided not to close its doors during the latest nuclear war between Russia and the United States. While the restaurant is operating at YELLOW on the Waffle House Index, it has remained adamant on helping people eat waffles before they die.

When asked about the controversial decision, restaurant manager Wally Howser said “we understand that the world is exploding around us, but what we here at the Waffle House family really care about is whether or not your mouth is exploding with the delicious flavor of our scrumptious waffles”.